Why Do Women Have To Be Beautiful?

Why do women have to be beautiful?

I read an article today about a mother wanting to teach her daughters to feel beautiful, in part by expressing that she was beautiful, even though she did not feel that way.  At first, I was touched.  But then….all I could think is “Why does it matter?”

I don’t have daughters.  I have a son.  A son that is actually pretty good looking.  That is not just the mother in me talking, I’ve never really thought that much about it.  But I have had other people tell me that, and if I think about it, I guess he is.  But that’s not what I tell him about himself.

I tell him he’s a fast runner, pitched a great game, am proud of the way he treated someone, that he is a great leader, that I am impressed with his knowledge on certain subjects.  He’s a confident kid.  He doesn’t care what he looks like.  (One look at the mismatched outfits he picks out for himself to wear with his ever-present Crocs clogs and the haircut he’s had since he was two that he doesn’t want to change….) He’s never asked if he’s cute or good-looking.  Doesn’t ask about the fattening effects of his snacks, but rather their health value.  He weighs himself every time we go to the grocery store, but he really isn’t concerned with the results, it’s just a curiosity thing.  He asks if he is smart, if he is nice, if he is well-behaved, if he is immature, if he’s funny, if he played a good game.  Never about physical appearance.

My mother never told me I was beautiful.  She never talked about her, or anyones, appearance, good or bad.  I have to say, when I was a teen I wanted the “right clothes”, but I never really was concerned if I was pretty.  In my 20’s, when I was asked to do some local modeling, I actually did one of those head turns to see who was behind me.  Apparantly I must be (or had been!) attractive, but that is not who I see myself as.  I see myself as smart, creative, driven, health-crazy, opinionated, sometimes funny, and probably way too sarcastic.  Do I ever worry about my looks?  Yeah, I don’t like the giant pimple that likes to form on my chin.  I don’t like when my pants get too tight because I’m a cheapskate and don’t want to go replace them.  But I don’t care that if I don’t wear a bra, no one can even tell, or that my hair never looks the same as it did by noon everyday…and I even wear Crocs too.  I want my husband to find me attractive, but I’m more concerned that he thinks I’m a good person.  I am happy.  I don’t need to be beautiful to be that way.

If men don’t need to be Johnny Depp clones, then why do women need to look like a supermodel?  Or even feel like they do?

Why do women have to be beautiful?

I just know I am thirsty.  And that is why there is wine.