Trust Your Instincts

All children are defiant, it’s part of being a kid, and discovering your limits.

All children do not have meltdowns daily.  All children do not throw things at you for an hour while screaming.  All children do not get so overwhelmed by their daily homework that it takes them 3 hours to complete it, after arguing with you and crying, and arguing and crying again.

If this is your case, DO NOT LET FAMILY, OR EVEN PROFESSIONALS, TELL YOU THAT “HE’S JUST A BOY” OR “SHE’S HIGH SPIRITED.”  Trust me, you are often the ONLY advocate for your child.  And you have to take on that role.

I’ve been reading some articles on ADD/ADHD that have been breaking my heart.  You are NOT a bad parent if your child had these problems.  It’s a hereditary neurological disorder.  One that is real.  One that is hurting your child even more than it is hurting you.  One that can be treated.

There will be naysayers.  Even the people closest to you in your life.  But it’s your CHILD.  Please help them.

And if it takes a while to convince anyone (again, trust me, it can!) that something is wrong, in the meantime, establish a routine.  Create structure.  Follow through on all consequences.  Let your child know what to expect. (I used to even have to let my son know the week’s dinner menu to make him feel comfortable!) Talk to their teachers about school problems.   And understand.  Understand they are frustrated, that they may feel bad about themselves, that their social development is most likely behind (up to 2 or 3 years) other kids their age. And find ways to deal with that.

And above all, keep in mind how truly unique and special your child is.  I wouldn’t trade mine for anything.  Ok, so in the middle of a meltdown I may want to, but I get over it.  Wine.  Wine.  Yep, that's why they have wine!