Recovering from Vanity

Vanity.  Most of us struggle with it much more than we realize.

I can remember being a teen and looking at people who are now my age. You know, old, in their mid- 40’s.  Or so I thought.  But what I also thought was “I can’t wait for that day when it’s OK to just be me.”  I admired women who could go out without makeup.  Who wore comfortable shoes.  Who could wear something just because they liked it, who cares if it’s in style?

I completely admit to being that person who has to get up and shower and do their hair and put on makeup, even if the only thing I’m doing all day is cleaning my bathroom.  I mean, what if the mailman brings something too big to fit in the mailbox, I have to look human when I answer the door!

This last week and a half, I had the flu.  The real, actual flu, the one with an alphabet name.  The one that makes you wake up at 3 am and pray for death.  The one that made me, for the first time in my life, throw caution to the wind and drop off my son at school not only without makeup or putting my contacts in, but without even taking a shower.  And a couple days, I picked him up 7 hours later the same way.

Did it really take me 45 years of life and a 104 fever to realize life went on if I left the house without mascara?  Yes, yes it did.

And I like it.

On Monday, I got a call from the school that my son was in the clinic and needed to be picked up, he was having stomach problems.  I was unshowered, had no makeup on, hair was greasy, and I was wearing my glasses.  Of course I saw at least 5 people I know in the process of going to the office and checking my son out.  And guess what, they all still recognized me.  None went into shock over my unkempt appearance.  And they still like me.

The next day, still sick as a dog, I needed to pick up milk after I picked Aiden up from school.  I bravely walked into Publix in the same unkempt manner, and actually felt a little powerful.  I hadn’t been in a grocery store without makeup, much less a shower, since I was 12.

I sit here now wondering why the heck I ever worried about this stuff.  I don’t like putting in my contacts.  Because of my allergies, they actually quite often bother me.  And you know something, my glasses actually look pretty darn good.  It was a shame, anyways, to buy $400 designer frames to only wear when I’m at home!

So, the next time you see me, if I’m in my Crocs and yoga pants and a t-shirt, and proudly sporting my glasses over unmade-up eyes, I haven’t gone off the deep end.  I just realized that it’s OK to be comfortable when you go buy a carton of milk.

I wonder how much time I’ve wasted making sure I look OK to walk out to my mailbox in my lifetime?  Hmmm….well, that’s why they have wine!