Have we become too paranoid?

Maybe it’s my age and I remember that everyone was allowed to just innocently play outside and that it was OK to talk to our neighbors.  Maybe I’ve always just had great neighbors.  Maybe I’m just a bad mom.  Whatever the case, I think we’ve become a helicopter society.  You know, you’ve heard of helicopter parents, right?  The term given to those more “protective” parents, the ones that are even more protective than our overprotective society in general?  We're too busy protecting and worrying that no one knows each other.

I let my child play outside.  Alone.  All by himself.  He is allowed to ride his bike.  To go to the river and look for alligators.  To play with other kids in the neighborhood, and even go inside their homes.

When my son was 6, I bought a condo, and last year, when he was 10, I got married and moved into my husband’s home.  In both neighborhoods I heard the exact same quote a few days after being there:  “Thank goodness there is someone that my kids can play with.”  This is not because he is some special kid.  He has no superpowers.  He’s just allowed to play outside.  Apparently, a rare thing.

Again, maybe it’s my age, but when I was growing up my parents knew all my friends parents, and my friends. I follow their example.  I make a point to talk to the parents, and to talk to the kids.  Sometimes I know more about my son’s friends than he does, and many times they’ve come over to show me their awards or tell me about their winning game or sometimes just to chat.  They wave to me if they see me at school. One of his middle school friends called one day on my son’s cell phone and asked to talk to me, to ask if Aiden could have permission to do something with him.  Heck, when we lived in our condo, the kids would come to me for water or to use the bathroom when my son wasn’t even there for the weekend!  I can trust him playing with friends, and their parents can trust them playing with him. 

Have all my son’s friend had ideal parents?  Nope.  I’ve known some children whose mom’s boyfriend dealt drugs, and one whose dad is a convicted felon recently released from prison.  But note that I actually KNOW that.  I am involved enough to know who people are.

Get to know your neighbors, your kid’s friends, their parents.  And then let your kids leave the house and interact with them, making your judgments based on actual knowledge.  You will be doing them a favor.  They can’t live in a bubble forever.

Sometimes it can be hard.  But that’s why they have wine.