Time To Go Back To Driving School

I think I need to go back to driving school.  No, I haven’t had an accident.  There are apparently just all kinds of new laws I don’t know about.  I mean, come on, I turned 16, um, well, let’s just say a LOT of years ago, I shouldn’t be surprised.  Here are a few things I notice just in my journeys today that are different from what I learned:

1.       The left hand being for passing and faster traffic is no longer true.  It is now for:

a.       People who need to turn left 15 miles up the road and can’t drive as fast as the people in the other lanes.

b.      People who need to turn RIGHT 15 miles up the road and can’t drive as fast as the people in the other lanes.

2.       If you are going to turn right at some point, you must drive in the farthest left hand lane until no less than 15 feet from where you want to turn right, especially if there are more than 2 lanes in your direction.

3.       That little bar that sticks out from your steering wheel that makes directional lights work, it is obsolete.  Especially if you plan to turn right in 15 feet and you are in a lane 3 lanes over to the left.

4.       “Do Not Enter” means “This is where you exit the parking lot.”  Hmmm…maybe that actually makes sense.

5.       Those people entering on those on-ramps on the highway, you are supposed to do everything you can to make sure they don’t get in front of you.

6.       You must play your car stereo loud enough to be heard from 2 blocks away.

7.       A yellow light means speed up.  (Ok, so I knew that one, I’m not THAT old.)

8.       If there are orange cones blocking your way, you are supposed to get out of your car and move them.

9.       If you are at an intersection with traffic lights, and that traffic light does NOT have a left hand turn signal, people turning left have the right-of-way.

10.   And last but not least, you are supposed to subtract at least 20 mph from the speed limit posted if there is any sort of law enforcement car within a ½ mile radius.

 

You know, it’s really surprising I’ve never gotten a traffic ticket with my ignorance of all these new laws. I’m really feeling kind of like an inadequate driver right now.  Well, I guess that is why they have wine.

Maybe I should start drinking it while I’m driving.  (JUST KIDDING!)