Maybe I Should Just Let Him Lead A Life of Crime

To effectively discipline your child, you are supposed to know their “currency,” the thing that is most precious to them.  For my 11-year old son, that is doing things outside and with friends.  So…when he got it in his head on Thursday that it couldn’t be possible that mom would communicate with his teachers, and chose to lie about some homework, of course the consequence I chose was to ground him from going outside or playing with friends through the end of the weekend.

The correct response was elicited, I became the “meanest mom ever” and he tried to convince me to use a different punishment, so I know that it hurt.  He apologized at least 10 times hoping I would reduce the sentence.  Of course that led me into a speech about how being sorry doesn’t help if he doesn’t have a plan to change his behavior, but I don’t want to get off on a tangent…He’s been mopey, wouldn’t answer the door when a friend knocked because he was embarrassed to say he was grounded, has spent more time on video games than I would like, but otherwise the weekend  has been bearable for me.

Until this afternoon.  I am trying to read the newspaper.  If I get up to get a drink or use the bathroom, he asks what I am doing.  He has told me at least 10 times he is bored.  I’ve heard “There is nothing to do” even more times.  He is aimlessly roaming the house.  HE IS CALLING ME ON MY CELL PHONE FROM THE NEXT ROOM!

I told him next time he is in trouble, I have a new punishment, one that will be pleasant for ME.  He will be forced to go to the mall with his mother.  He will have to go in every women’s clothing and shoe store there is, and wait while I try things on.  He will have to go find me things in another size if they don’t fit.  He will have to eat lunch at the place of my choice, even if they specialize in salads.  And we will not set foot in a single video game or electronics store.  He will not be allowed to complain. 

The horrified response told me that could certainly be the most effective deterrent to a life of graying his mother’s hair yet.

But for now, my cell phone is ringing again.  That’s why they have wine.  Perhaps I should pour myself a glass.