Why I Am A Christian

Contrary to popular belief, I am not a Christian for political reasons, because I’m an idiot, because I’m perfect, because I want to feel superior, or because I want to tell other people what to do.

I am a Christian because I need God.  That is all.  I am weak, I am scared, I am so far from perfect it is not even funny, and I need Him.  I need the support, and he has always been there for me.

When I hid under a table crying because my drunk father was throwing things around, God was sitting next to me.  When I was raped two days in my dorm room the week before my freshman year at college started, He was there to let me know it wasn’t my fault.  When I was in the delivery room with a baby who was being induced prematurely because he was distressed, was upside down, backwards, and had the cord around his neck, God blew his first breath into him when he came out not breathing.

He’s never failed me, even when it temporarily feels that way.  Through every difficult thing I’ve ever encountered, He has been my constant, and He has shown me the greatness that eventually came from every bad thing that occurred.

He understands me.  He has forgiven me for every stupid decision I’ve made, every sin I committed.  There are a lot of people who believe me to be a strong person, but that strength is not mine, it is His.

I am not superior to anyone, I don’t have some greater grasp on morality, I cannot magically solve all the problems of the world.  My faith does not give me the resources to adopt every unwanted child in the world, to donate to every charity, or to perform superhuman feats, it just gives me a relationship with my Savior.

I am opposed to the idea of using Christ as a weapon, as a reason to hate, or to categorize people as bad.  We all do bad things, and when I say that it is no more condemning of anyone else than it is of myself, it is just the way things are.  I don’t teach my child that others are “sinners”, as a matter of fact I’ve never in my life used the word “sin” in any discussions regarding behavior and expectations with him, nor have they been about anyone but him and me.  I have enough trouble keeping myself straight sometimes to worry about what you are doing, not that I care to worry about what you are doing in the first place.

Do I speak for all Christians?  Of course not.  We are all individuals, and we all have an individual relationship with God, and I’m sure there are a few that don’t really have one.  But there are an awful lot of them that could write a similar blog.  Our faith is not about you, it is about ourselves.  You can choose to make fun of us or hate us or think we are the root of all your problems, but that’s an awful lot of power to give to us crazy people that believe in something imaginary.

That’s why they have wine.  For those, of course, who feel comfortable with drinking it.