It’s that time of the year…that time where are there a lot
of strong feelings. For some, those are
feelings of dread, for others relief, for others worry that their children our
growing just way too quickly. Yep, it’s
back to school.
It’s also that time of year where you see a ton of articles, blogs, posts, and comments about underpaid teachers, overworked teachers, lack of appreciation for teachers, how difficult it is to be a teacher, teachers needing to buy their own supplies, and the terrible parent’s that teachers have to deal with.
I get all that. Someone who sings a few songs they didn’t even write themselves can be a billionaire, while a person that is supposed to be helping to prepare our children for their futures is buying their shoes at Walmart. Teachers often do preparation at home, after school or on the weekends. There are children who are raised without discipline that can be disruptive to a classroom. There are parents who refuse to believe that anything their children do can possibly be blamed on their children.
However, I’d like to write something from the perspective of parents, because I think many of us can be misunderstood.
1. We don’t live in a bubble with our “special
snowflake” of a child. We have problems
too. And if that problem is with our
child, we might actually be able to impart some knowledge on how he is best
dealt with, and when we try to tell you it is for both his AND your benefit, it
is not an insult. All kids are
different. Every single one of
them. Your biggest source of knowledge
about each of those individuals are the people that live with them.
2. Lots of jobs are underpaid. You can pretty safely assume a large part of
the parents you deal with are. A $200
school supply list for each child, each year, can be a very stressful, if not
impossible, task to complete. And if the
list contains something that can only be found at one store across town, from
noon till 2 pm, and we got the list the night before, we are trying very, very,
very hard not to break down in the wine aisle of Target in a puddle of tears,
begging for a corkscrew.
3. I may show up in shorts and a
t-shirt in the drop off and pick up line, talking on the phone and signaling to
my child to shush when he gets in the car.
That obvious-to-you self-involvement is actually a professional mom who
started her day logged in to her computer 30 minutes before the drive to school,
because she works from home. I’m often
on work calls or in a teleconference in the car, even though pick-up time is
technically my lunch hour. I go back
home and work till at least 5, sometimes it can be midnight. I’m salaried, and don’t get paid overtime for
the hours beyond 40 I work each week, but I’m lucky I can work those extra
hours at my home. My husband, who works
60 hours a week, also salaried so is paid for 40, does not have that
luxury. We’re fairly typical
parents. In between all that, we all
help with homework, projects, and school friend drama, and we cook dinner and
make sure our children have clean clothes for school and get to their sports
practices and occasionally even squeeze in five minutes to use the bathroom. Sometimes a science project is due the same
day as a work project and we are operating on 2 hours of sleep. If we forgot to sign the agenda book, it’s
probably because we were overwhelmed by the dog eating the table leg and we
didn’t get our coffee made, not because we don’t care.
4. We want the classroom to have
discipline. We want our children to gain
knowledge. We WANT to know if they are
having problems in either of those areas.
I would love for you to call me, or send me an email, to let me know he
might need extra help in some area. Not finding out till we’ve gotten the report
card with an “F” makes me feel like no one cares. I need to know BEFORE the test, I can’t help
with something I know nothing about. I
may not be a teacher, but I actually still know some stuff, and if I don’t know
the specific topic, I do know how to Google and figure it out. I may be busy and forgot to brush my hair and
put my pants on backwards, but I do love my child enough to do what I need to
do to help him with anything. That also
includes behavior. If my child jumps up
and down and turns in a circle and it’s not allowed, I want to know. We have expectations in our home, and it’s
hard to enforce them without knowledge of the infractions.
5. We know there are pain-in-the-rear
parents. Their children play at our
house or on our kids’ teams. We don’t,
thankfully, absorb their personalities by being around them however. Most of us are pretty nice people. If I curse at you and tell you that there is
no way my child could have thrown a wad of paper across the room, think what
you will. Otherwise, please give me a
chance. And a glass of wine can help if
it’s really bad.
6. Some of us have had experiences
with former teachers that left a very bad taste in our mouths. Things like calling us in for a mandatory
conference, and then needing a physical description of my child to know who
they are because their name provides no recognition. Things like not showing up at a mandatory
conference that was called. Things like
telling my child that he is not smart enough for a book in the library, though
he actually reads above that level. Things
like not knowing that a child even has an IEP or 504 plan after teaching him a
whole quarter. Things that make us just a little scared at the beginning of
each school year. Be warm and open to
us, listen to what we have to say, we have real worries. That understanding, that acknowledgement,
that validation, THAT is what lets me know you truly have faith in your own
abilities as a teacher.
I do thank teachers for what they do, I’m sure it is an exhausting
job. I love all of my son's teachers, we have not had an issue with one in many years. But some days I’d just like to be
understood and appreciated as a parent, and in the past that may have made some real differences in our lives. We'd all be better off if we stay on the same team.
That’s why they have wine.
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