Christmas Memories

Two of the memories I will hold of today have nothing to do with gifts or traditions, but are just silly moments having fun with family.  So often it really is the little things that bring us moments of joy.

On the way to my brother’s house today, my son was looking around at empty parking lots and asked what is open on Christmas.  I told him there were a few fast food places and restaurants, and bored him with my story of working one Christmas day at Taco Bell as a teen.  I told him Walgreens would be because it has a 24 hour pharmacy.   He pondered over this information.  Later, when my brother jokingly offered my son a root beer float due to his penchant for the bottomless ones at Red Robin, then told him he had neither root beer or ice cream, Aiden let him know Walgreens was open and would have both! 

On the way home, someone noted that Burger King was open.  This led to my son, my husband, and I pointing out each and everything that was open on our drive home, trying to beat each other to say it.  “We can make a game of anything,” Aiden laughed.  Yes, we can.  And in case you are curious, Burger King, McDonalds, Walgreens and CVS, and liquor stores are the hands down winners.

Next year, I may have forgotten what we gave each other for gifts, but I will certainly remember I can get the ingredients for rootbeer floats, a cheap burger, and a bottle of whiskey any day of the year!

That’s why they have wine.  Liquor stores even stay open so you can get it!

Why I am a Parent, Not a Friend

I was in a discussion recently where someone took offense to the phrase “Be a parent, not a friend.”  A discussion that led to someone saying that “aggressive parenting” seems like parenting where you are afraid to let your children be themselves and was just a power trip.

First, I’m not sure what aggressive parenting is.  I thought maybe it was what someone coined as a parenting style, but Google does not give me that impression.  I do see references to “hostile-aggressive parents” referring to parents that are emotionally or physically abusive.....Wow.  Since most of the people I know share the same “I’m a parent....” attitude, and none of them are child abusers, I have to admit I was a bit shocked.

So, I would just like to clarify what I mean by being a parent and not a friend to clear up the misunderstanding that I must beat my child into submission and don’t want him to be the individual he is. 

We do not have a long list of rules posted anywhere.  My child is not afraid of me.  We have a lot of fun and joke around together all the time. I am not his enemy, and we are in fact very close.

We have two basic rules:  You need to be honest, and you need to be respectful both of yourself and others.  That pretty much covers it.  Following those rules means you don’t lie, you don’t cheat, you don’t talk out of turn, you sit in your seat at a restaurant and keep your voice down, you listen to authority figures, you do not say mean things about others.  Some of those things my child may need to be reminded of now and then, which he is with a hand gesture (keep it down) or a whisper (“That is going to annoy the people in line behind us”), not with a yank of the arm or a yell or a spanking.  When something happens because he did not follow those rules, we discuss it together and come up with a solution to prevent it from occurring again in the future.

But those rules he WILL follow.  Why?  Not because it is easier for me – trust me, especially if you are with another parent and child that is afraid to tell their child “No.”  Not because it somehow makes me feel good when he stomps off and slams the door.  Rather, it is because being a person who has those qualities is what is going to make him most happy and successful in life.  I don’t care if every other child at the party is allowed to be rude to another child, or if the kid down the street can call his mother a name, or if my child is going to tell me “I hate you!” because he can’t skip his homework like his friend can.

Believe it or not, children crave that structure and have a real need to know that there is someone in their life that is an authority figure who can rein them in.  Without those things, a helpless child just feels more helpless.  My son has friends at school, at baseball, in the neighborhood.  At home he needs a Mom and Dad.

A parent can be a friend, but a friend cannot be a parent.

And that’s why they have wine.

And That's Why They Have Bikes

My Christmas present.  I not only dragged the very heavy package into the house when it was delivered and left on my front porch, I helped put it together.  Thus the reason there was no need to hide it...

My husband apparantly knows me well, he bought me a bike with a place for my bottle and glass. ;)

When the going gets tough, that's why they have wine.  When the going gets so tough, you have to leave the house, that's why they have bikes.

Free To Be You And Me

I don’t watch Duck Dynasty, though I have heard other’s talk about it.  Just not something I ever ran across and got addicted to between all my Lifetime shows and movies that take up my free time.

The controversy surrounding it now surprises me.  And kind of scares me.  Does one man on a reality show hold that much power over any of our lives, whether you disagree with him or don’t?  Apparantly he does, and that makes me worry about the future of our nation, a nation I’m beginning (well, maybe I’ve thought this before) to suspect is made up of a bunch of weak-minded ninnies.

Does everyone have to agree with you?  Yes, you.  And you.  And you and you and you.  Do they?  What happens to you if they don’t?  Is your life any different today because of a GQ article? 

If this man who makes duck calls is what is encompassing your life right now because you are focused on defending and supporting him, perhaps you might want to look at that Bible passage he quoted.  Don’t make him your idol.

If you are offended because he thinks you are a sinner, why the h-e-double hockey sticks do you care what he thinks? Not to mention that I’m sure he’d tell you himself HE is a sinner, as a core belief of Christianity is that EVERYONE is.

The man is a citizen of the United States, and as such is free to speak his opinions and hold his beliefs.  A&E is free, as a private employer, to “put him on hiatus” if they feel he is not representing their company.

Case closed.  There are more important things in life to worry about.  Like the huge number of people in this country that have no clue how great it is to have the freedoms we have to be exactly who we are, despite what anyone else thinks about it.  If you like yourself and are proud of your life, that is all that matters.

Now on to some more important issues, like finding that Christmas gift my son at the last minute said he hopes Santa is bringing, and I can’t find anyplace that has it in stock. 

That’s why they have wine.

Hook, Line, and Push Up Bra

Tonight, the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was on TV.  It’s so amazing that we’ve been able to come this far as women in this country and that being able to model underwear in a seductive fashion has become not only acceptable, but respected.  We’ve broken through the barrier of being trivialized, no longer being thought of as only something to look pretty, but rather as intelligent and enterprising and valued for our important contributions to society.

In case you are wondering, that annoying sound you hear, it is the sarcasm dripping from the above paragraph.  The sad thing is, Victoria’s Secret is just the tip of the iceberg, a tip that is pretty tame compared to what is at the base.

What happened?  I thought women in this country were fighting for equality and respect.  What we got was objectification and the warped concept that our sexuality is where our largest value lies.  And we’ve fallen for it hook, line, and push up bra.

I am an intelligent, resourceful, conscientious, supportive, independent, successful woman.   I don’t need cleavage, skimpy outfits, or plastic surgery.  I reject the notion that I’m supposed to be OK with pornography and strip clubs.  I refuse to be sexually suggestive as a way to get something, and don’t support those companies who use that as their ploy.

I am the same person sitting here, 10 or so pounds over my “maximum healthy” weight, in my frumpy pajamas, with my A cup breasts, glasses on and wearing no makeup as I would be if I were 25 pounds thinner, in a string bikini, with D cups and long eyelashes.  If someone only sees the outside me and does not value what is inside, they are not worth my time.  And they are not worth yours either.

And that’s why they have wine.