Notes to the Resident Grammar Nazi

I am bothered by misspelled words.  The wrong use of “their,” “there,” and “they’re” drives me insane.  I sometimes need to re-read things 5 times before I get the meaning due to the sentence structure, and think “Really?”

When I’m reading a professional article or document.  Professional.  Key word.

 I expect a professional to both have a good grasp on grammar and spelling, and to have a proofreader.  I expect someone sending a quick email or text, well, to be sending a QUICK email or text.  I realize that probably a majority of the time when posting on social media, people are doing so with devices that have spell checks with a mind of their own.

I actually proofread and correct the published documents at work.  AT WORK. I am in my late 40’s, you know, what they call old.  My eyesight, it likes to play games with me.  I’m not “bad” enough yet for full bifocal contacts, so I wear contacts for my nearsightedness, and have to put on reading glasses OVER THEM for, well, reading ANYTHING.  The smaller the print, the worse it is, and for all you 25 year olds out there, trust me, the print on your smartphone will be indecipherable in some very short years.   I don’t always carry my reading glasses.  It’s bad enough I have to carry a purse with allergy meds, hormone pills, my asthma inhaler, contact wetting drops, and of course my wallet so I can produce my ID to that 22 year old when I want a glass of wine and he won’t accept my obvious wrinkles as proof of my age.  I’m not carrying the glasses everywhere too! I honestly can’t even SEE some of the corrections my phone or Kindle likes to do. 

If I don’t post something correctly in a status, you can get over it or unfriend me.  Trust me, if our friendship (or like of the page I admin), depends on your perception of my perfection, I’m at no great loss for losing you.

And, well, I will admit, I AM NOT PERFECT.  Not even close.  I mess up. I put apostrophes or commas in the wrong place.  I skip words because I’m typing faster than I’m thinking.  I actually have more to live for than being known as the woman who never made a spelling mistake.  And that is all perfectly fine with me.  Maybe it’s my senility in my old age, but I’m having a problem coming up with a reason not to admit that, and so it really irks me when others think that they are God’s gift to the earth for pointing out a typo. 

You want to post a snarky comment on something I post or any of my friends do on Facebook because the phone decided it was changing “much” to “mush?”  Good, because I will bow down and admir….HAHAHHAHAHA……HAHA……HAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I can’t even finish that sentence.

Get over yourselves.  And have a glass of wine.  After all, that’s why they have it.