A Spanking Is Just a Spanking

There are some people who say that the cause of violence in our society comes from spanking our children.  There are others that say it’s because we don’t. 

There are three incidents in my life that I think of each and every time the occasion arises where I need to discipline my child:  three things that have stuck in my mind over many, many years, and taught me great lessons in being a parent.  And none of them involve spanking.

The first is a time I got mad at my father for something and said I was going to run away.  The second is a time I was in my grandmother’s kitchen when I was 8 or 9 and I repeated a rude line from a movie.  The last is something my pastor talked about in his sermon at church, long before I even had a child.

When I said I was going to run away, my dad reacted by not saying a word.  Rather, he went and got me a suitcase.  I changed my mind.  Understand how your child thinks.

My grandmother looked at me with a hurt look, and, in her normal conversational voice, said “That is a really mean thing to say to someone.”   Teach your child WHY a behavior is wrong.

My pastor said that the key to discipline was to “know your child’s currency.”  In other words, know what consequence best fits that particular child.  Realize that not all children respond to the same discipline methods, even children in the same family.

Yes, I’ve spanked my child when I felt the situation called for it.  I’ve also used time-out, taking things away, grounding, and, more often than not, nothing more than a simple act like my dad or grandmother used.  In turn, I have a wonderful, kind, considerate, affectionate child with whom I have a great relationship.

Raising, teaching, and disciplining a child isn’t as simple as spanking or not spanking.  It takes a lot of work, a lot of understanding, and a lot of realizing that what you thought you knew just isn’t working.

And when it gets overwhelming, just lock yourself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine.  That’s why they have it.

(Hmmm, wonder if a wine rack would fit in here.....)