Dear Mr. President

A few weeks ago I checked my son’s phone, and found something disturbing.  Among a few other unacceptable to this strict mom things, he and his friends were calling each other the “N” word in conversations.

The only good thing is that I know my son wasn't using it to be derogatory.  He doesn't have a racist bone in his body, nor any other discriminatory kind of bone.  He is one of the most accepting people I've ever met, and I’m not just saying that because he is my child.  He just thought it was the “cool” thing to say because other kids do.  We don’t use that word in our family, we live in a very diverse community of people who get along (though reading the internet and other media, I feel like I must be living in a strange dream), so it’s just not something he’s grown up with and we've never had to have a discussion about it.

Until now.

When I explained that one of the reasons his phone was being taken away for a while was his use of that word, he really didn't seem to understand why it was so bad, after all, his black friends use it too. 

A week ago, I watched “Selma” with him, a movie depicting Martin Luther King, Jr. and the civil rights movement.  During one quite dramatic scene, the word was being thrown around in a very derogatory fashion.  I asked my son “Now do you understand why we don’t use that word?”  He looked at me with tears in his eyes and nodded.  He got it.

And then a few days later, the President, the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, uses it in a podcast.  How do I explain that?

If we want this word to go away, it needs to GO AWAY in modern day language.  Outside of historical context to teach it’s origin, it should not be spoken, written, or heard.

Mr. President, I've never been your biggest fan, your political ideology is different than mine.  However, I've always respected anyone in the office, because it is a job much more difficult than I could ever imagine, and, well, just because I’m an American.  I’m struggling now, with that respect.  I teach my child that respect is something to be earned.  I teach my child that certain actions do not earn respect.  How can I, as a Mom and as someone who respects themselves, make exceptions to my standards just because of someone’s title?  You could have been an example of a higher standard and just said, “The ‘N’ word.”  I just wrote an entire blog without using the word, and no one has questions to what I’m talking about.  It's not necessary.

That’s why they have wine.