A Simple Lesson

In the third grade, my son’s teacher taught him what may be the greatest thing he’s learned in his life thus far:   If someone picks on you or insults you, say “Thank you.” 

That’s it.  The whole lesson.  Those two little words, however, carry a heck of a lot of power.

Try it sometime.  You don’t even have to say it out loud.  Just say it in your head and I bet you’ll have a hard time stifling a chuckle afterward…and you’ll have an entirely different attitude than you would if you hadn't said it.  You won’t be sitting there dwelling on their words, or look, or the fact that they ignored you, you will instead have regained your sense of control over the situation.  You will realize that the other person doesn't really have the power you would usually give them.

Then, the next time, say it out loud and really soak in that strange, but wonderful feeling, watching the look of complete confusion on their face while they are trying to figure out if you really used the word that started with "th" and not with "f."

I read an article earlier based on a very common concept in recent times….that we need to make other people behave better so that we, or our kids, or our neighbors, or some random subgroup of society, don’t feel bad.  That concept, as great as it sounds on the surface, is flawed.  We can’t force other people to change, to act how we want them to, to think differently.  You don’t have that control. You do,  however, have control over how YOU act and think, and you do have the ability to change that.

Self-esteem isn't based on what other people think of us.  It would be called What-Other-People-Think-of-Me-esteem if it was.  Change, all change, starts from within.

Stop worrying if you are saying the right thing, if your shoes are last-season, if you are having a bad hair day, if someone else has something you don’t.  Be the person that YOU are proud of, and if there is something about yourself that you don’t like, well, then change it.  Don’t make excuses, make a plan.

And say the "Th" phrase instead of the "F" one to anyone who tries to get in your way.  

Some days can still be hard, but that’s why they have wine.