They Don't Care That They Lost

After my son’s baseball team had a loss yesterday, a comment was made, “Look at them, they don’t even care that they lost.”  While many people concurred with that statement as being a negative thing, the thought going thought my head was “I’m glad my kid is able to move on.”

Is there a right way to handle a loss or disappointment?  Is it better if you are upset about it or if you are able to just quickly move on?  What does your reaction mean?  Does it vary between personalities? All I know, I like the way my child has learned to handle things.

For me, I seriously am proud of my child for being able to put a bad pitch behind him, a missed catch not affect his next attempt, a lost game become quickly archived as something in the past. 

My child is a perfectionist. A perfectionist with some disabilities that can sometimes get in his way and lead to huge disappointment in himself.  We’ve had our share of school and social struggles, as well as a lot of everyday things that can just be harder than they may be in other families.  I’ve learned over the years to focus on the accomplishments and not the failures.  A “D” is not cause for discipline, but an “A” is a cause for ice cream.  Not wanting to do something with peers is accepted, but going to a party or out to a team meal is cause for praise.

So, today his team lost again.  Getting thrown out at first and not being able to get to a ball fast enough to get an out against the other team are just part of the game.  His 12 pitch inning and fantastic catch in right field made the day exceptional.  The loss was behind him before he even left the dugout, and he is proud of his effort.  As it should be.  Baseball is the area of his life where he is truly able to have fun and have pride in himself, because after all, the game of baseball is just that, a game.

Maybe for some people, it is better that they show their disappointment in a failure because they expect the success.  For my child, it is better to ignore the failure and take pride in accomplishments, no matter how small they may be.   I don’t want him to care about a loss, I want him to celebrate his wins.  It’s what works for us.

So here is a toast to my awesome kid, who got a 105% on his science test this week, who was having fun with his teammates yesterday, and who put in all of his effort in his game today.  That is why they have wine.