Tales of a Compassionless American

I have no compassion.  I don’t care about anyone.  I am arrogant.  Or the best one yet, I’ve apparently never endured hardship. 

At least that is what I have been told, on quite a few occasions.  Especially on social media, but also in person, often by people who know me well and sometimes even by people I have been generous and compassionate with in their own circumstances.  Why?  I’m not really sure.  Perhaps it is because I don’t label myself as they do, possibly it is because I’m not afraid to go against popular sentiment on a particular issue, maybe it is because they assume a label I may have means they know my beliefs better than me.    Maybe it’s something different entirely.  I have a difficult time figuring out why some people would choose to associate with me if they truly think I am the terrible person they have accused me of being.

The primary concept that influences my beliefs about life is that I feel people are capable.  I have faith in people.  I believe everyone has a need to feel a sense of accomplishment and confidence to be the best person they can be.

I don’t give my child everything he wants not only because I don’t have limitless money, but because I want him to learn the value of things, and, more importantly, because I want him to know that “things” are not what is going to bring him real joy in life.  I teach him life skills so that he will be able to take care of himself when he is older.  I allow him to suffer the consequences of actions so that he knows that they exist and that they have to be dealt with, even if that action was accidental.  I don’t rescue and I don’t fix, but I do work with him, sometimes in conjunction with others such as peers or teachers, on coming to solutions for problems  - solutions that he can execute himself or be a party to.  I do this because I love and care for him and want him to know the true happiness of being an independent, confident human being full of potential.

I feel the same about the world in general as I do my child.   I think the world is full of people who are full of potential, who are smart, enterprising, strong, and who will, as we all do, encounter things in life that are not always pretty.  As my mom says they “will not melt” if life is not perfect and something negative happens, rather they have the ability to learn from it.  There are exceptions to every rule, but those exceptions are not the norm.   There are also those who choose not to be the best they can be, and, well, that is their choice.   But for the majority, is it really better to treat them as if they WILL melt?  Is this what you would teach your child? 

I have faith in people.  I believe we are all much stronger than many of us believe we are.  I’m the one who will tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.  And with that, I will proudly claim my title of a compassionless American. 

Here’s to everyone, and to everything I know you can do, endure, and overcome, if that is what you choose to do.  That’s why they have wine.