It CAN Happen to Your Child

  

Locally, a 12-year old girl, Rebecca Sedwick, chose to take her life after enduring long-term bullying both online and off.  Unfortunately, she is not the first child to feel this was her only choice.  And she won’t be the last.  However, since two girls who were bullying her were arrested in association with this incident, this has become national news, and hopefully will open some parents’ eyes.

It can happen to your child.

Yes, YOURS.

Realizing that is the first step in preventing such a tragedy in your family.  There are no super parents who can ensure nothing bad ever happens to their child.  There is no person, much less child, who does not feel an effect from being taunted, teased, or harassed.  There is nothing that you can do to prevent other children from behaving in a particular manner.

“Kids just need to toughen up!  Back in my day, we just had a fight on the playground and got it over with.”

We’re not back in your day.  We’re not back in my day.  We’re not even back in last week.  We have a rapidly changing world with ever changing technology.  Technology that now allows kids to record that fight on the playground, post it on social media sites for thousands to see, and for even strangers to comment on.  The bullying doesn’t end at the end of the school day when you go home, and it doesn’t stop just because your child is not in the physical presence of the bully.  And back in your day, the playground fights didn’t involve guns.

“I would just take my child’s phone/tablet/computer away if someone was bothering them, problem solved.”

The tablet isn’t the one bullying your child.  This may not be what you say, but this is what your child hears: “Yes, honey, I know you did not do anything wrong and you’ve used your device responsibly, but I’m taking it away because other children can’t behave.  I am cutting you off from communication with those friends who do support you.  I don’t have time to deal with this anymore, and it’s easier for me this way.”  Well, and then you have to sit and help them do their homework when they need to research or type something so as to not leave them alone with an electronic device.

“Everyone loves my child, no one would ever pick on him.”

No matter how lovable your child is, not everyone else sees that.  Other kids can find anything to make fun of someone for.  All it takes is a pimple, a bad hair day, a dropped lunch, a misspoken word, an overbearing parent …..

So, what do you do?  Be prepared.  Talk to your kids about bullying before it happens, so that they feel comfortable talking to you when it does.  Have a plan, give them some defense strategies, make them feel like they are safe coming to you for anything.  Let them know you love them no matter what and you can help them get through anything.

Look at things from a whole new angle.  A Facebook account can be seen as something that might hurt a child, or, the contrary, it can be an amazing tool in finding out not only how your child’s friends act when they are not in front of you, but in finding out how their parents act too.  Then you know what you are up against.

Parenting can be really difficult and complex, it’s not an easy job.  That’s why they have wine!