If Only It Was So Easy

Last week my son told me he thought he needed a med increase.  I asked him why, and he said it was due to the increase of a particular related problem that the medication unexpectedly helps.

He is on ADHD medication due to his difficulties he was having in school.  Yes, we have had difficulties at home, including extreme tantrums and outbursts, but we’d always handled those…and, well, you can guess where the name of my blog came from.  I admit, those symptoms are also helped with the medication and I’m not going to deny being happy about that.  Not only does it make his life happier and easier, it takes away a HUGE amount of my stress.

I told him I didn’t want to ask the doctor for a med increase just to help with an unintended effect, and that we would deal with it in other ways.  He understood, and agreed he did not need more medicine.  He is doing great in school, he just got all A’s for the first time EVER, and seems to be doing well socially also. 

Now that he mentioned increase, however, I’m starting to notice the rise in other symptoms outside of school.  He is 12, he is starting puberty, and his doctor warned me it could get bumpy and could require med adjustments.  I had to tell him at LEAST 10 times this evening to “settle down,” and I haven’t had to even tell him that once a day for quite a while.  This morning on the way to school, my usually half-asleep kid talked so much he actually asked me what was making him talk so much.  I don’t think he’s remembered a single thing I’ve told him this week, and he’s asked me the same questions so many times I can now predict them.  I’ve had to shake his arm several times to get him out of “zone-out” when talking to him.  No meltdowns so far, but we came close when I told him I was not taking him to spend the money he was saving for a game that comes out next week on a different one that came out today just because he was impatient.   I managed to distract him with something else, thank goodness.

He has an appointment with his neurologist in a couple of weeks.  Like I said, he was put on medication for his school performance, and he’s doing fine there.  But, yes, he is certainly is exhibiting a lot of other symptoms.  And I’m afraid it WILL start carrying over to school.  He is doing so well right now, I don’t want him to stumble.  But I don’t want to give him more medication than he needs.  I don’t know what to do.

People not in this situation think that it’s such an easy choice to choose to give medication to your child…you are a wonderful parent who is superhuman and can fix all the problems without it, or you are a failure who gives it to your child so you don’t have to do anything.  Simple, easy, black and white.  I only wish it was so easy, then I wouldn’t even be needing to write this to help myself sort through my thoughts.

That’s why they have wine.  Too bad I’m out.