What's in a Word?

When my son was in Pre-K, one of his classmate’s parents got some free tickets to a zoo event.  They invited us and another family from Pre-K to go along.  Us moms were talking, and one said “Someone in class taught my son to say ‘sucks!’”  I was afraid to tell her it was probably the little blonde boy standing next to her son at the elephant exhibit.

I find the concept of “bad” words to be kind of funny.  They are just words.  A string of letters and sounds.  Letters and sounds that have the same meaning as other words that we find acceptable.  Who decided what words weren’t?

Funny thing is, I don’t really cuss.  Yes, I’ve said the words, usually in extreme pain or anger, but I don’t use them in regular conversation.  I understand the “power” society has given certain words, and I’d like to say that I don’t use them because of some intellectual reason, but actually they just don’t come naturally to me.

They don’t come naturally to me because I didn’t really hear my parents cuss.  Yes, the occassional slip, but it wasn’t regular conversation.  They used other words....”stupid,” “crap,” “darn,” ” freaking,” “pissed,” “sucks,”or, in the case of my grandfather, “dangnabit.”  And as kids, we were allowed to use them too.  All those words most parents today forbid.  And that is what became natural.

I’ve never told my child any words were forbidden.  I’ve told him some words aren’t allowed at school, but I’ve never forbidden any at home.  I’ve never heard him cuss.  He’s 11.  He has, apparantly, learned elsewhere that words are bad, because about 6 months ago, when I got really mad about something, I said “damn it!” and he started crying.  Really crying.  I asked him why and he said that something must be really bad because I “said a bad word.”

Ironically, most kids his age I’ve heard cuss regularly, their parent’s don’t think they even say “stupid.”  I think sometimes as a society we really go overboard and forget that forbidding something makes it more desirable.  Especially if they are words they hear their parents use on a regular basis.

Being the typical hypocritical parent, I did tell my son I’d delete posts from friends on his Facebook page that have cuss words.  I really do understand the power society has given those words, and don’t want them associated with him at his age.  He was happy about my decision.  He even tells his friends not to use cuss words in private messages and texts.  He doesn’t feel comfortable with them.  He  turns the radio down if he knows a cuss word is coming in a song. Like for me, to him they are not “natural” words.  But when he tells me “This stupid game sucks!” I just nod and ask him why he feels that way, knowing those in earshot are giving me dirty looks.

Funny, how certain words are given such authority and clout.  A simple group of sounds. 

I wonder how people would speak if we had no concept of “bad words.”

Pondering too much today.  And that’s why they have wine.