Teachers That Make A Difference

Aiden has been struggling in school.  He has been struggling some for all of his school life, but last year and this year, especially so.  And in the last couple months, he’s been “acting out” some in school by attempting to basically be the class clown, and doing things to try to “impress” his classmates.

Yesterday, about a half an hour after I sent him to bed early because I was so frustrated with him over a lie about something really stupid that he was trying to convince me of, he came out of his room and asked me if he could tell me the truth.  The truth led to a very good discussion.  We talked about the fact that though he was never officially diagnosed with ADHD and sensory processing issues until recently, that he has always had them.  That he is still the same kid he ever was.  That the same expectations for behavior and academic work still exist, and that if he was capable of certain things before, he was still capable of them.  And he admitted that in addition to the struggles he already had, the diagnosis made him feel “not normal.”

I told him EVERYONE has an issue.  Some people have learning disabilities.  Some people have physical disabilities.  Some people are mean.  Some people don’t like chocolate.  Everyone has an issue.

Then I told him, “I challenge you to name me someone you think is completely normal.”  He thought for about a minute.  Then, he answered.  Did he say his mom?  His dad?  His stepdad?  His hero, Evan Longoria?  No, he said “What about Tom Cruise?”

“Um, honey, that’s the best you could come up with?  You just proved my point.”

This evening, after I picked him up from tutoring,  we had a conference with all his teachers to go over some strategies to help him to not fail the 6^th grade.  It was a good conference.  He will be sent home with a sheet each day listing his homework.  He will be prompted to turn things in.  They told him he does not deserve to fail, his abilities were above that.  They asked him if they needed to move his seat in his various classes to be farther from people that may distract him. 

Then one teacher asked him how he felt about his ADHD.  I felt as if there had been a fly on the wall last night during our conversation.  I told Aiden it was OK to tell them what he told me.  He did.  They told him that didn’t make him as different as he thought it did.  That more kids than he realized had the same.  That it didn’t make him unable to do his schoolwork.  Then, the teacher who originally asked the question, told him that they also struggle with the same things in 6th grade, and that they have ADHD too.  That really meant something to Aiden.

He’s now, at least for today, very onboard with trying harder at his schoolwork, and behaving better in class.  He even started looking through his backpack for tonight’s homework, and asked his Science teacher for another sheet because he couldn’t find it.  The support of others besides your parents, in anything, can make a huge difference to a child.  The fact that I told him he could upgrade to a modern cell phone if he passed probably didn’t hurt either.

When he got home, he put away his toys in the garage that I asked him to pick up without complaint.  He did his homework.  He’s been overly pleasant.

However, at this moment, he is eating a whole box of Rock Candy, aka pure sugar, that my mother gave him. (Pretty sure this is payback for something I did as a kid.) The tide could turn at any moment!  And that’s why they have wine.