Sadly, we read incidents of small children left in hot cars
on too regular of a basis. The usual response,
not surprisingly, is not actually one of sadness, but one of outrage, one of
placing the parent or caretaker in the realm of serial killers or perhaps of
even Satan himself, one of “Well, I WOULD NEVER do that.”
But is that the correct response?
A typical comment I see on news articles is “People don’t forget
their cell phones, but they forget their child!”
Let me start by saying I leave my cell phone in the car all
the time. ALL THE TIME. I’ll need to make a call for work and realize
I have no clue where my phone is, after working for a couple of hours. My 17 year old, he finds it hilarious that I
have first, an alert on my work calendar to remind me to pick him up from
school, and second, and alarm on my phone to tell me when it is his
bedtime. I can’t even describe the
laughter when I don’t get the bedtime alarm because I left my phone in my car. He finds it hilarious because he has ADHD, so
completely understands being so involved in something else that your mind sort
of one-tracks, and he likes to tell me I must have it too (and maybe he is
right!). What he doesn’t think is that I’m
a bad parent for this, he knows how much I love him, how much I’ve fought for
an appropriate education for him, how I am ALWAYS there, be it 2 am, if he has
an issue and needs help. He knows that
he is a miracle baby, MY miracle baby that I thank God for everyday, born
prematurely while upside down and backwards and with the cord around his neck
and that my doctor didn’t think he was going to be alive…
But you know what I did one day when he was 3? I forgot to drop him off at daycare.
A week earlier, we had switched him from a daycare a couple
blocks from home to a daycare a couple blocks from my office, in rush hour time
that is a 50 minute difference for a 12 mile drive when there are no accidents. That morning, I had an argument with my
husband and was stressed out over a high priority issue I was working on at my
job, and I had not slept well with the stress.
The drive was worse than usual, and I was running late for work and
worrying about that. If it had been my
set routine to drop off my child at daycare right before work, without a doubt I
would have pulled in to that parking lot while running on autopilot. But it wasn’t.
I got to my office and parked, turned around to grab my
purse, and “OH CRAP!” Yes, my toddler
was fast asleep in his carseat.
I pulled back out and drove the few blocks to his daycare. But it all could have been different. It could have been tragic. His life, my life, his dad’s life, the life
of everyone that loved him or me could be a completely different story.
Not because I am a horrible mother that doesn’t deserve her
child, but because I am a human being.
An imperfect human being, as we all are, even if we don’t want to admit
it.
If you’ve really never made a mistake in your life, or even
just not with your children, my hat is off to you, but I will be sending
pillows to break that fall from your pedestal when it happens because it is painful.
That’s why they have wine.
A toast to those that understand the phrase “But for the grace of God go
I,” because you’ve realized one of the big truths in life and are able to
accept it.
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