No, Thanks, I'm Good

Today when I was working (I work from home), there was a knock on my door.  Two twenty-something young men in dress shirts and ties and name tags identifying them as members of the Church of Latter Day Saints, asking me if I knew about Jesus.  "I'm a Christian, and I'm busy working," I replied.  "Well, can we help you to strengthen your faith?"  "No, thanks, I'm good."  I shut the door.

This inquiry into trying to trying to appeal to who I already am, someone who believes in Jesus Christ, but with the intention to sway me to abandoning my beliefs for a "better" way, made me think of something else I encountered this week that tried to do the same, and really bothered me.

Earlier this week I read a blog post, a post that used feminism as it's way to try to appeal to who I already am.  A post that touted the writer and others that engaged in her hobby of pole dancing to be someone that did so for the obviously commendable cause of furthering the lives of women in our society, particularly those who would never pole dance in public themselves.

Hmm, well, I wouldn't pole dance in public, so I continued reading to see what exactly she was doing for me. What I was supposed to learn was that I am supposedly afraid of my own sexuality, and that I am being repressed by society, that I had poor body image, and, the thing that really ruffled my feathers, that I was to be felt sorry for, yes, felt sorry for, because I couldn't possibly enjoy sex.

That was what I was supposed to learn.  

Let me clear up the fallacies here.

Because someone chooses not to make their sexuality public does not necessarily mean any of that. As an aside, many people who choose that activity as a profession actually do it because they have had sexual abuse in their past, but that is a vast subject for another post.

I just plain old don't think my "goods" are public property so I CHOOSE not to engage in activities or fashions that make it public.  That's it.  If you choose to pole dance, fine, but you are not doing ME any favors by doing so.  I'm not crying alone at night in the corner.  No one makes me dress how I do, it's my choice.  My body displays it's 50 years of living, with wrinkles and stretch marks and a little extra fat, and I'm good with that, I don't need to twirl around a piece of aluminum to convince anyone of it.  I find my sexuality to be something intimate to be enjoyed with only my husband, and I'm really not seeing why that is wrong, as a matter of fact I think it would be disrespectful to him to think otherwise.  And, guess what, people who don't pole dance still have good sex.

Base emotions and actions don't make us more powerful.  They just make us like everyone else.  If you want to do something in the name of feminism that actually helps me, then stand up against 6 month rape sentences, try with all your might to break into a male-dominated field of work, heck, just make your husband KNOW who your children's doctors are.  

Pole dancing doesn't make me an equal to anyone but those who pole dance.  I've not come this far in life so that I can spread my legs in a seductive manner for a bunch of men who are not my partner.  Don't feel sorry for me.

I'm good.

That's why they have wine.