That's What I Mean

"Hey, you forgot your medicine this morning," I told my son as he got in the car.

"Yeah, I figured that out."

"What do you mean?"

"When I wasn't paying attention in class.  Well, I was paying attention, but, you know, not the same."

"You were having a hard time paying attention?"

"Yes, that's what I mean."

Had I not noticed that his 7-day pill box was not laying out on the kitchen counter like it usually is in the morning, I still would have known.  The teenager that often takes a nap on the 30 minute drive home was wide awake...wide awake and fidgeting with everything in his reach.  He messed with the visor, looked in the mirror several times, played with my water bottle, drank my water, pretended he knew the words to the classic rock songs on the radio and sang along, badly.  Through all of this there was commentary on everything under the son, including a conversation of how I still had to work when I got home while he could relax.  Well, at that point work sounded a bit peaceful!

I asked him if he got in trouble for anything.  "What would I get in trouble for?"  I just gave him the "you know" look. Before we went the medication route I got notes and phone calls from school fairly regularly about his constant talking.  In the back of my mind I always just thought "At least he's getting some of that out on someone besides me."  I do wonder today whose ear is worn out.

At his last neurological appointment, his doctor asked him if he wanted to try to lower or go without medication as he's been on it quite a while.  It only took him about a split second to say "No, I want to keep it the same as now."  His doctor told him that was fine, some people still prefer to take it as adults.

I think he made the right decision.  He's not a bad kid without it, I don't like him any less, he's actually quite funny and entertaining when he's in constant chatter mode. However, he's scattered, and it bothers him to not be able to focus, and today showed us that he still needs the help the medication gives him.  His medication actually wears off shortly after he gets home from school, but his evenings are more enjoyable because he isn't dealing with frustrations he might have otherwise had during the day. He's matured enough to be able to figure this out himself.

ADHD, it's not made up.  It's not an excuse used by parents.  My son, he will happily explain to anyone who asks how it makes him feel, clearly if he took his medication, a bit scattered if not, but he will tell you.

Believe him.

That's why they have wine.