Just Say No

Earlier this evening I went outside to take out the trash, and Aiden’s friend asked, “Hey, can Aiden play inside my house for a little while?” 

“Sure, if your mom says it’s ok.”

His friend then replied to him, “See, she’ll let you.”

Aiden then ran over and whispered to me, “I don’t want to play inside, can you say I can’t?”

“No,” I quietly said back.  “It will be dark in 10 minutes, you’ll need to come in then,” I then said out loud, and went back in the house.

Five minutes later, he came in, and I got on to him for asking me to lie.  I told him that if you don’t want to do something, you have every right to just say “No.”  I told him that his wants and needs are just as valid as those of someone else, that he doesn’t need to explain his reasons, that what he wants is OK.

I explained that we say what we mean, that’s how we roll.

Or is it? 

How many times do we agree because we are afraid someone may not like us if we don’t?  That they might talk about us behind our backs?  That they may think something bad about us?  Hmm, yep, I’ve done that recently and the reason I was mad about it was because I was mad at myself.

Thank you, kid, for making me realize that sometimes I need to practice what I preach.  Our opinions and our needs and our wants, they are who we ARE, and we don’t need to justify them.  And in this house, we are people that say what we mean, because we are perfectly OK with who we are.

Sometimes we just forget.  That’s why they have wine.