A recent (like 20 minutes ago) conversation has me thinking…we
like to claim we are accepting of all people, but who do we really accept at
face value?
I have a child that is diagnosed, after EKG’s, interviews,
questionnaires filled out by myself and teachers, and a physical, with
ADHD-Inattentive Type by a pediatric neurologist. He is also diagnosed with Dyspraxia and
Sensory Processing issues.
The armchair doctors, however, have doubts about any of
these issues, for any child.
I will not tell you that my child has always been the image
of perfection. He has not. For goodness sakes, when he was 3, there was
nothing you could do to convince me he was not the child of Satan, especially
the day he put every towel we owned in the toilet when he was 3 because I told
him it was bathtime, and I ended up telling my husband to go in the bathroom
and clean him because I was done, and I actually left the house, walking the
neighborhood bawling my eyes out.
And that was an easy day.
I, every year, at our annual doctors appointment (my preemie
NEVER gets sick, thank GOD!) would tell the doctor I thought there might be
issues. Every year I was told he was “just
a boy.” Till the year he was THIS CLOSE
to failing 5th grade, and I went for a special appointment. To have an actual diagnosis, by a reputable
doctor, of ADHD, you have to be having particular issues in at least 2 areas of
life. Though he always had them at home,
and actually had them at school for several years, they became much more
apparent in the 5th grade.
That, and that we actually had a teacher who realized he was not stupid
but had issues (and yes, I’m sorry, well not sorry, if this offends anyone, but
many teachers just assume you have idiot parents and are doomed to be a dumb
student, at least the ones my son had), and helped me to get the paperwork done.
We had occupational therapy and neurological
evaluations. And then we had the thing
that helped my son get what he needed at school – a diagnosis.
You get mixed feelings.
Feelings that, wow, my child has something wrong.. And then the opposite feelings that, wow, now
we can actually convince people he is not dumb, not lazy, not the victim of a
parent that doesn’t want to discipline him.
And then you feel the anger at those who tell you that your
child doesn’t have a real illness.
Skipping ahead of much heartache and struggling, I eventually
discovered a private school that was exclusively for children with learning
disabilities. They were willing to accept my child, though he was failing 6th
grade. They accepted a McKay
scholarship, which my son was eligible for because I had eventually convinced
the school to give him a 504 plan (though they wouldn’t give an IEP which is
probably what he really needed, but apparently I don’t know the politics to
getting one.) Iapplied for one, I got it, and it’s been smooth sailing. The kid who actually failed 6th
grade and repeated it his first year at his new school has had ONE B in the
last 2 plus years, is in the most advanced classes, and tested at 12th
grade level on his standardized test.
I am telling you all of this to lead to this point…no one
makes fun of him.
No one. And he makes
fun of no one. This is a school where
everyone has an issue, everyone. They
are far in range. But all of the kids accept the others. Even in middle and high school classes. I’ve volunteered at or attended several
special events, and I can tell you this is not what you would see in your
average middle or high school.
These kids all know they go to that school for a reason, and
so do their classmates. I think that is what
makes them so humble and accepting, and WONDERFUL. They realize they are not perfect, and they
realize that they are still great kids despite that.
If only the rest of us could.
None of us our “better” than others, though many find
themselves to be superior. We all fall
short. Every single one of us. None of us are perfect. None of us have the capability to be.
God bless those kids at my son’s school who get that. They
are the ones who should be our examples
.
It's hard to convince people of that, I've had enough conversations with people to prove that. That’s why they have wine.
