October is ADHD Awareness Month. So, that is what I would like to do, raise
awareness.
Why do I think it needs to be raised? Daily, I see the memes on social media
implying that ADHD is not a real disability, but rather a lack of
discipline. From strangers, this is
mildly annoying. From people who know my
child, many of whom will testify to what a respectful, well-behaved, all around
GOOD kid he is, it is downright infuriating.
1.
ADHD is
not a synonym for hyperactivity.
Hyperactivity can exist without ADHD, ADHD can exist (yep, it really
can, it’s called ADHD-Inattentive type – used to be called ADD- and is what my son has) without hyperactivity.
2.
People with ADHD have difficulty with executive
functioning. Executive functioning includes
tasks that help us learn new information, remember and retrieve information
we've learned in the past, and use this information to solve problems of everyday
life.
3.
ADHD cannot be cured by a spanking, eliminating
artificial coloring or gluten, or taking away sugar. If your child’s quality of life improves
after any of these things, he a. wasn’t disciplined,
b. had a food sensitivity or allergy, or c. was suffering from sugar crash. Ironically, my child is actually allergic to
artificial food coloring. Removing it
from his diet keeps his face from swelling, but it doesn’t help him to follow
multi-step directions or remember to bring his homework home.
4.
Medication does not, or at least should not,
make a child a “zombie.” If your child
cannot function on their medication, or appears to be something from the
Walking Dead, newsflash…they are on the wrong medication or too high of a
dose. The correct medication does not
change a child’s personality. It does
not make them stoned or high. It just
helps their brain to filter out all the extraneous information so they can
concentrate on what they need to.
Sometimes it takes some trial or error to get the right medication. It is very similar to other medications that
work on the brain, like anti-depressants, in that certain ones don’t work for
certain people. You have to find the
right one. A child on the correct
medication is a higher-functioning, happier human being. And trust me, it doesn’t take away their
sarcasm, dark sense of humor, athletic abilities, or passions, if that is what
they were BEFORE the meds. It actually
helps them fine hone those “skills.” It
does help them focus, remember, follow directions, and enjoy life.
5.
Parents don’t make the decision to medicate
their child because they are lazy.
Frustrated, out of options, crying every night in the bathroom because
they feel incapable of helping their child to be a happy kid, fed up with
standardized testing, hurt because no one invites their child to parties or
overnights, and a huge amount of love, yes, this leads to that decision. Laziness?
You show me any parent of a child with ADHD, and I will show you some
of the strongest, most able to handle a crisis, compassionate, and headstrong
people you will ever meet. God gave me
this child because he knew I needed the ability to stand up for myself and not
take any crap and accomplish ANYTHING that needs to get done, and, my goodness,
I now certainly have that ability. And I’m
able to model that for my child.
6.
People with ADHD are not stupid. In fact, they are usually exceptionally
intelligent. They have so much going on
in their brains sometimes it is hard for them to filter out the important stuff
sometimes, but they are ALWAYS thinking.
School can be difficult because they may be taught in a way that is not
the way they learn, or they may just be bored.
They need to be challenged and stimulated to learn. Putting them in the back of the class and
assuming they will have nothing to say is a huge disservice not only to them,
but to all those that they could effect in their lives if only given the
chance.
7.
People with ADHD often have obsessions or
activities they are hyperfocused on. My
own child cycles through his obsessions….games, magic tricks, Legos, play
dough, WWE, and Crayola marker maker are just a few that have consumed him,
been completely forgotten about, and then consumed him again. Baseball is his hyperfocus. When he steps on a field, he notices nothing
else. He memorizes signs quickly, picks
up newly taught skills with ease, comes home and accurately tells me his teammates
batting stats for the game (if only they taught math in terms of baseball
stats), and actually focuses even better if the other team heckles him when he
is pitching.
8.
Kids with ADHD often have some sensory
sensitivities. Things get
overwhelming. That meltdown in the
middle of Disney World is likely not from lack of discipline or a need for a
nap, but rather from overstimulation.
Crowds, noises, smells, sights, sounds….We go through life doing things
on off days or early hours before there are crowds, leaving as soon as the
first sign of overstimulation appears (luckily my child is now a teen and can
tell me when he needs to leave), and just not doing particular things. We tend
to get nice hotel rooms when traveling because we spend a lot of time there!
For my son, even the grocery store is a horrible place. When he was a toddler, he threw huge tantrums
and threw things out of the cart. As a
teen he stays home, but can tolerate an under 20 minute run for a list of items
you must specify to him before going inside (and he does help to get them
quickly) in a pinch. He’s not being a
brat, he just knows his limits. If we do
something like a professional baseball game, we get there EARLY, while we can
walk the stadium and find our seats and get food without many people around,
and once he sits down, he does not get up again until it’s over (well, usually
almost over, so we can get out before the crowds!). The overstimulation can be literally painful.
9.
While there may be some children that are
diagnosed ADHD that shouldn’t be, it really isn’t a process that consists of
telling your pediatrician your child has ADHD and they hand you some meds. My child is treated by a pediatric neurologist. We had to get an occupational therapy
evaluation, an EEG, a physical exam, an interview, blood tests, and
questionnaires filled out by me and by his teachers as part of the process. He has to see his doctor every 3-4 months,
and every month I have to drive across town to pick up a written prescription
for his medication (they can’t be called in to a pharmacy, nor are refills
allowed, as they are considered a controlled substance). I have to find a pharmacy that can actually
fill his medication (there are federal regulations on the percentage of
controlled substances, regardless of what it is, that can be dispensed by a
pharmacy. Once they are past it, that’s
it…and the chain pharmacies have their own additional ridiculous policies, such
as that you can’t bring in a new prescription until 28 days after the last was
filled, and then they won’t fill it for 72 hours…leaving your child without
meds one day every month). And the GENERIC version of the medication my son
takes is over $160 per month. It’s not a
fun, cheap, or stress-free process.
People don’t have their child diagnosed just for the hell of it.
In summary, those memes and comments and jokes are a bunch
of BS. If you know me, think about that
14 year old boy you know, and how he feels when he sees and hears that
stuff. If you don’t, think about the
child I’m sure you know somewhere with the same diagnosis. There are some very wonderful kids out who
you could be encouraging instead of putting down.
That’s why they have wine.
